Sunday, October 3, 2010

Week in Review

Wow! It's been a good week. Again, didn't write anything down so I'm just kind of spit-balling random memories here:

Thursday, I went to Mad Hatter which is a bar that offers $1 draughts on Thursday nights! What suckers, right?! Wrong. I'm the sucker. It was more like $1 sips of beer. The glasses were like 3 ounces each, max. What's worse - you couldn't sit down anywhere if you were drinking a $1 beer! You literally had to stand the ENTIRE time if you didn't order a full-price ($5) beer! Not only does that suck because I don't feel like being upright while I'm "relaxing" or "blowing off some steam," but you can pick out all the cheapskates in the room by looking around at who's standing! So as I'm standing there with my virtual "I'M CHEAP!" sign hanging off of me, my friend (let's call him Arnold), asks me to borrow money because he doesn't have enough cash on him.

"Well," I say, "the beers are $1, so I'm guessing you don't have any cash on you, but sure, [Arnold], here's a five, grab me one too."

So I'm thinking at least I've got a shot glass worth of beer and a couple bucks in change coming back to me, right? Wrong again! Arnold sees one of his friends at the bar (let's call him Gerald), AND the girl Gerald's currently trying to bang (let's call her Helga) at the bar, and decides to buy them BOTH beers on me! COME ON! Arnold said he'd pay me back, but I've yet to see the money. I know, I'm cheap right? Well, I also work for free. Don't judge me.

Friday, I went to Georgetown with LC, LJ, LV (a lot of people's names start with L here), Louis (there's another one), Brandon, and Kate. I don't remember much of this night, but I remember saying "I neeeed this" a lot and was told that I kept welcoming everyone to Rosslyn, Virginia (even after we had left said town).

Saturday, I went to Safeway which is the most ironically named grocery store of all time because it's neither safe nor on the way. To anywhere. Not sure why the shuttle from my building brings us past five beautiful, safe grocery stores that are on the way and instead drops us off in the hood on the other side of town at this place, but that's what they do. After speed shopping for 9 minutes and waiting in a 31-minute line, I barely made the next shuttle back (comes "every" 40 minutes though sometimes the driver will take an unannounced dump break and throw the schedule off by an hour on either end).

Also on Saturday I did a lot of laundry. Four loads, to be exact (okay, it's not the roomiest washer/dryer combo). Then I had an epiphany. Maybe it was just the smell of the laundry detergent, or maybe I was getting high from the bleach I had accidentally just spilled all over my hands, but I got to thinking: you know how most driers have a "wrinkle guard" that you can turn either on or off, to prevent wrinkles or not? Well why the HELL do they even give you the option? Who's going to be like "Wrinkle guard? No fuck that. I want my clothes to be as wrinkly as possible!" Right? But I digress.

Sunday was the proudest I've ever been of myself as far as being in shape goes. After eating a king-sized Kit-Kat bar, two Oreo Klondikes and an Italian Ice (not the proud part), I hit the treadmill for my usual Sunday afternoon football watching routine (see my last post and that will make more sense). But somewhere on my leisurely stroll, I decided to make like Emeril and kick it up a notch. To 5.5mph I go! But wait, that wasn't enough. Baby, I'm headed to 6 town! No, no, still not enough! I'm going 7. But I didn't roll one there (get it?!). I'm going to 8! And to 9! And 10! Wow! That's a fast treadmill! After continuing at this break-neck pace for a respectable 2 or 3 minutes, I realized I could not continue at this rate, but I could push myself beyond the usual 2.5-3mph I've been averaging. I kept it around 6 the rest of the time and got to 5 miles in 65 minutes! 13 minute miles for 5 miles! WOW! I spent the rest of Sunday on what I think they call a runner's high.

Annnnnd then yesterday (Monday) I came crashing down to what I think they call a fatty's low. My calves burned, my hamstrings screamed, my back shut down completely. I was paralyzed. Of course, this is the day that I come limping (heavily) into work and my boss goes "Surprise field trip! We're going to a conference in Crystal City, I need you to bring this stuff down to my car (points to a collection of every heavy thing that has ever been in this entire 10,000 square foot office)!"

Today the pain's even worse, but at least I get to sit down and write this blog entry. I'll check back in soon, people. Keep reading, keep telling your friends. You've gotten me to almost 1,000 views with readers in 9 different countries! No joke! You're the best!


  1. Joe! I love reading your blog! It definintely makes me A. Laugh & B. Get through thr work day! Glad to see things are going well in DC! Missing our TG days though! Looking forward to more posts :)

  2. Your blog is legit the bomb dot com. Totally brightens up the (free) work day!