Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Big mistakes, gym for all the wrong reasons

Although I'm interning in DC, one of my bosses works from home in New Orleans. The main way we keep in touch is Google Talk, or "GChat." My girlfriend also has a GChat account so often times she'll IM when she's at work or in class too. My boss is okay with me GChatting with my girlfriend while at work, so it's not uncommon for me to have two conversations going at once, one with each of them. For most people having these two threads going at once wouldn't be a problem, but for those of us who can't walk and chew gum at the same time - or in my case, chew gum and chew gum at the same time - things can get weird. These are two direct quotes I've said to my boss, thinking she was my girlfriend:

-"k. love you. hugaroo. byeeeee."

-"be right back, gotta go number one."

AWKWARD! Luckily my boss is cool, thought both of them were funny and laughed it off but OH MY GOD! Mortifying. Mortifying.

I went to the gym last night! You might think that I like to "pump iron" or "work my pecs," but that's not really the case. The truth is I like to watch TV and sometimes it's too loud in my room, and the treadmills in the gym have pretty sweet TVs attached to them. So the two times I've gone to the gym (where most people go to not be a fatty), it was because I was trying to be a fatty in peace.

So I'm plugging away on the treadmill at what I think is a brisk, respectable 2.4mph pace. Then I look over at the machine next to me and there's a fat girl with a knee brace going not twice, but almost thrice my speed at 7.1. Does she think she's better than me? Whatever, I'm not going to try to compete, I'm trying to watch my show. I wouldn't have told you what my show was because it makes me seem like even less of a man, but fatty knee brace girl told everyone anyway. She finished up her FIVE MILE RUN (my total WALKING distance for the night was 1.6 miles), looked at my screen, and as if she was speaking into a megaphone goes "ARE YOU WATCHING ONE TREE HILL!?!"

(an eery silence falls over the room).

Keep in mind this is 8:15pm - prime time for the gym - and the room is more packed than it's ever been. I looked at everyone looking at me. These 25+ people now know that I care if Quinn and Clay end up together forever. I'm trying to memorize their faces so I can avoid them in the hallway in the future, knowing they'll never look at me the same. Then I shrug and go back to my show because damnit, Clay's a good guy and he'll make Quinn happy.

Yeah, so that's my awkward week (so far) in a nutshell. Hope it's going better for all of you! I'll check back in soon!


  1. hahahaha! the first thing you showed me on my tour of DC was the treadmills with T.V.s

  2. Okay so two things. you saying "hugaroo" to your boss...fantastic...i think next time it needs to be READY TO GO!!! also ONE TREE HILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya know you made fun of me for watching that this summer! and yes...i know Quinn and Clay will be together forever because Clay is a good guy and it has to happen. OMG One Tree Hill Talk ASAP!!! lmao thanks for the entertainment!
    Peace, <3, TG

  3. If it makes you feel better, I can't figure out how to "connect" my treadmill to the television so I can watch it.

    Instead I squint to read the closed captioning words flying across the screen...